To Kill a Lion Companies follow the Methods....

How to Kill a Lion

Nucleus Software Method:

Hire a Lion, and give him salary of a RAT.

Give him work on all Technology except for which he was hired.

No work on week days and Call him on Sat-Sun with out Overtime/ Comp-Off, and tell him to stay late w/o work to show this onsite team. .

Lion will suicide in frustration.


Keane Method:

Hire a lion....

Place him in "QRU"(Bench) for 1 year

Tell him to change his technology from ASP.NET to JAVA or Powerbuilder

Lion dies in confusion he is Cat or lion......


Cognizant Method:

hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.

hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

give them same gobi 65 to eat

hire 200 more....... and more ........



TCS method:

hire a lion

give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

lion dies of hunger and frustration



IBM's Method:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ....

he dies of unemployment. ..



Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ....

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and

make sure that he never reaches onsite.

Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....


i-Flex method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari

for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes

alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion..


Wipro Method:

Hire a Lion,

give him a mail Id.

he will die recieving stupid mails all day........! !!!


Accenture Method:

Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......



HUAWEI Method:

Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...

Give him work of 3 Lions

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

No time for food and family, automatically die



At last but not the Least....


INFOSYS METHOD:

HIRE A LION…..

SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE

............ .......... ......... ............ ......... KING OF THE JUNGLE! J

MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM

……………………………….……LION TURNS INTO CAT

MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM

…............ .......... ........ ............ ..….CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE

SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG

……………………………………MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!

SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS

............ .......... ......... ............ ......MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE