Ramayana As Narrated by Bill Gates...

LAN LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXCUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNS - RAM, LSI-man,BUG-rat, and SED-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. Hisbrothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL ICS.

Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C-ta. 12 years passedand DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.

However, queen CIE/CAE, who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for alife saving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity atthe instigation ofher BIOSed maid, and insisted that her son BUG-rat be installed and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed thru DOS-rat anddue to FATAL ERROR he collapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C-ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother.

The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-wan, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM politely denied. Perceiving C-ta to be the SOURCE CODE for her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-wan, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.

MAR-icha REPROGRAMMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM's SOUND, C-ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-wan DELINKED C-ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY (or HOME PAGE) to LAN-ka.

INTERVAL

RAM and LSI-man started LINEAR SEARCHING for the missing C-ta all over the forest. They made friendship with the SYSTEM-ADMINISTRATOR of forest SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed to help RAM.

SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful BINARY & BOOLEAN-SEARCH techniques to FIND the missing C-ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NET worked forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBWLERS(Insects) and tried to INFO SEEK something about C-ta. Some of them even shouted YAHOO but they all ended up with NOT FOUND MESSAGES.

Several other SERACH techniques proved useless. Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local SEARCH, he found C-ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to C-ta. After DECRYPTING the KEY, C-ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C-ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him usingpyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by using theVIRUS 'FIRE'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.

RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle One of the RAW-wan's SUN almost DELETED RAM and LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presence on earth.

After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily everafter.

PROGRAM EXECUTED SUCCESSFULLY!!