Why Planning is important?

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name......................... (2 MARKS)
Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left b) Front Right c) Back Left d) Back Right.....!!!

True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992.

How to Impress Clients..

A GREAT WAY TO IMPRESS CLIENTS (Too Good)...

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a client meeting."

Unbelivable fact..

Did you know that the flight number of the plane that had hit WORLD TRADE CENTER ON 9/11 IT was Q33N ....

NOW Open your Notepad in YOUR computer and type the flight number i.e Q33N... Increase the Font Size to 72, Change the Font to "WINGDINGS".

U will be amazed by the findings try it its really good..... and remembr 2 type with caps lock on…….

THE SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.
My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "

Why is he taking the picture.

Why is he taking this picture like this??

Ans: To get the correct angle..... ;-)

Very useful information.. (for those in India)

"THINK OUT OF THE BOX"

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round.....

No one will GET second chance to impress....

Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...
Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you seethree people waiting for a bus:
An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.An old friend who once saved your life.The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well thatthere could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of ajob application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thusyou should save her first;* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, andthis would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.*

However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no troublecoming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady tothe hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partnerof my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thoughtlimitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"
The candidate who was selected answered

" I will not get a better matchfor my sister than you sir"
Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is onemorning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.
Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with myhusband.
Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managedit well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later whenasked
Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate.Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is beforeyou?
Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"
He got selected.
You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well thatcoffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet)Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet)
Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"
Question 5 The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your lastquestion of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of thecenter of this table where u have kept your files."
Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the tableand told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer askedhow did u get to know that this being the central point of this table,then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any morequestion, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. ........
This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUT OF THE BOX"

Find out one truth about these pictures if you can

You cant
Then go down

The model is a male

LOVE LETTER IN JAVA !!!

LETTER IN JAVA

To,
MY NEW SWEET INNER CLASS,

THE DAY WHEN MY EX- GIRLFREIND BECOMES PUBLIC SHE LEFT ME, THE WHOLE CLASSPATH IS DISTURBED AND MY HEART IS THROWING NULL POINTER EXCEPTION, WHICH I CANT REMOVE

THE DAY WHEN I SAW U IN BIN MARKET, THE WHOLE ENVIRONMENT VARIABLE CHANGE AND I FALL IN LOVE, IF U ACCEPT MY LOVE I KNOW MY HEART THREAD WILL EXECUTE NORMALLY

THE DAY WHEN I MEET U MY HEART FEELS THAT………

U AND ONLY U R THE ONE TO WHOM I THINK IS FINAL AND STATIC IN NATURE, U AND ONLY U CAN OVERRIDE MY HEART,

I FEEL U R LIKE A LANG PACKAGE TO MY HEART, WHICH IS AVAILABLE ALWAYS TO ME.
MY HEART NEEDS ONE CATCH BLOCK TO LIVE, IF U WANNA BECOME MY GF THEN TELL ME SOME NECESSARY PACKAGE SO I IMPORT FOR U

WAITING FOR UR COMPILATION …….
HOPE FOR NO ERROR, WARNING AND EXCEPTION

YOUR ONLY LOVE
BASE CLASS

Art of fooling Men...

Cartoons..

Never be late..

** High Priority **

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.

A leading local politician and the member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession. I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave a venereal disease to his own sister. I was appalled! But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral: Never, never, never be late!!

Cartoons..

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Height of Globalization..

How to look Busy!!

How to look BUSY......?????????????

This is from a well known daily newspaper

Being busy with work and looking like it are two different things. Master the art of looking busy. Read on...

Never walk without a document People with documents look hardworking. Those with nothing in their hands look like they're going to the cafeteria.

Carry loads of stuff home with you at night to show that you work longer hours than you really do.

If your boss catches you doing nothing official on the computer... your best defense is to claim you're learning a new software to save money.

Messy desk Build huge piles of documents around your workspace, only top management can get away with a clean desk.

Screen all your calls through voice mail If somebody leaves a message for pending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there.

Look impatient & annoyed to give the impression that you're always busy.

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out.

Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35pm , 7:05am , etc.)& during public holidays.

Creative sighing for effect Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor, etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

Read computer magazines & pick out all the jargon & new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses.

MOST IMPORTANT -- DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN ...(Naughty..just for fun..)

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.

She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.

Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.

Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.

She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.

She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.

Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.

With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.

Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

School Bus

School Bus!!

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Pain of a Married Man ...!!

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?' he asks solemnly.

'Yes I do' she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. 'Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'I would have been released today!'

Milking a Cow by "Softwarism"

Softwarism (Ultimate....)
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
1. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5. Then prepare two dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them. (UI Mockups & POC)
6. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problems with accessories. (Change framework)
8. Redo step 4
9. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but it’s milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy???
By this time both the COWS aged and can’t milk.
(The software got old and get ready for next release)
Repeat from step 1!!!!!

hiroshima and Nagasaki Then & Now.. post 1

August 6 -Hiroshima and Nagasaki -

1945 Then

Now...

hiroshima and Nagasaki Then & Now.. post 2