+of+image002.jpg)
+of+image002.jpg)
Oct 2, 2008
Never be late..
** High Priority **
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and the member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession. I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave a venereal disease to his own sister. I was appalled! But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'
Moral: Never, never, never be late!!
A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and the member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession. I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave a venereal disease to his own sister. I was appalled! But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'
Moral: Never, never, never be late!!
Cartoons..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
click on image to enlarge..
How to look Busy!!
How to look BUSY......?????????????
This is from a well known daily newspaper
Being busy with work and looking like it are two different things. Master the art of looking busy. Read on...
Never walk without a document People with documents look hardworking. Those with nothing in their hands look like they're going to the cafeteria.
Carry loads of stuff home with you at night to show that you work longer hours than you really do.
If your boss catches you doing nothing official on the computer... your best defense is to claim you're learning a new software to save money.
Messy desk Build huge piles of documents around your workspace, only top management can get away with a clean desk.
Screen all your calls through voice mail If somebody leaves a message for pending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there.
Look impatient & annoyed to give the impression that you're always busy.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out.
Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35pm , 7:05am , etc.)& during public holidays.
Creative sighing for effect Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor, etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
Read computer magazines & pick out all the jargon & new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses.
MOST IMPORTANT -- DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!
GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN ...(Naughty..just for fun..)
Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.
After 70, they become Siberia.
After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
Pain of a Married Man ...!!
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?' he asks solemnly.
'Yes I do' she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. 'Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'I would have been released today!'
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
